|The spot he proposed|
This past Saturday was one year since Garrett asked me to marry him. One year since we became engaged. One year of wearing my ring, that I now feel naked without (except for the two weeks it took for it to get re-sized).
There’s all sorts of debate in the engagement-wedding-internet-world about one year engagement vs two year engagement. By the time we are married we will fall just three months short of a two year engagement. Totally not here to debate on the one year vs two year topic. We chose the time we chose because it gave us more time to plan and save and not be completely consumed by rushed wedding planning.
Point is, I wasn’t sure what to expect from our “engaged” phase of our relationship. We are spending a good two years engaged planning towards making a really big step in our life.
But here is what I have learned in the last year.
People are constantly changing. Relationships have to mold to those changes.
Duh. But really. Especially in a relationship like ours, we started young. A majority of our relationship has been growing up.
Being engaged is the “happiest time”, but it is also just normal.
I was literally expecting magic. Two years of engaged magic! At first I was feeling like “oh my gosh how could I be mad at you right now?! We are engaged this is supposed to be a happy time, dammit!“. This is such a happy time, it’s also normal. Day by day normal stuff goes on. Being engaged is “magical” and Garrett and I gush over wedding talk from time to time, or I get giddy talking about it with my Bridesmaids. But it doesn’t consume our every day life (not yet, anyways).
You don’t have to have the answers to everything.
This is big to me. Truthfully, before Garrett and I got engaged and I had this image of a “right time” because I thought every problem we could ever face would be magically solved and we would know everything then we could get engaged and we would suddenly have every answer for the rest of our life. I am glad Garrett can bypass my crazy because we would still probably be waiting. When it’s right, it’s right. It’s okay to not have every plan figured out, like if we are going to buy our first house in the city or country. Or have three kids or just two. Real life problems here, people.
Engagment is a magnifying glass.
That annoying thing your boyfriend/girlfriend does when you’re just boyfriend/girlfriend- becomes ten times more annoying when your soon to be husband or wife does it! Suddenly it’s not your boyfriend doing something annoying. It’s the man you are going to be spending the rest of your life with doing something annoying. Luckily, this works the other way around to. All the great things he does suddenly becomes better when I know it’s my future husband.
Refering to someone as your fiancé can sound slightly pretentious.
No hate towards anyone who does it, I don’t blink an eye when I hear it from someone else. But majority of the time, I still say boyfriend. Then I’m like oh, I mean fiancé. But what other option do I have? Betrothed? Yeah, totally trying that out.
It’s fun to involve your fiancé. Don’t be surprised when he gets “over-involved” on some things and doesn’t care about the next.
I totally wasn’t expecting a lengthy debate about whether I wear a white or ivory dress, so I was totally surprised by that one. Although, I did totally expect him to only half listen to my Pinterest inspired ideas. Most of it goes “hey would you be totally against pink being one of our wedding colors? Yep. Thought so.” His one request: don’t make the wedding too girly. Got it.
Step up your calendar game.
I thought I was a pretty good planner. Then wedding planning came along and laughed in my face. Literally so much stuff. And all the parties and appointments and people who want to tag along and oh-my-gosh.
We still have nine months until the big day, and it’s going to fly by. After Christmas I am literally going to be elbow deep in wedding planning. I know there is more I am going to learn while engaged. Then I am going to spend the rest of my life learning about being married. Nevertheless, this has been a fun learning process together and the times we just sit and daydream about the wedding are totally the best.